


Who Am I?

by GraceElizabeth



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier - Fandom
Genre: M/M, it's just Bucky, not really a relationship fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-28
Updated: 2014-07-28
Packaged: 2018-02-10 17:30:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2033766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GraceElizabeth/pseuds/GraceElizabeth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post TWS. Bucky is struggling within himself processing who he is and with Winter Soldier.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who Am I?

W-Who am I?

**The Winter Soldier.**

No, no... Someone else. 

**32557**

Who is the man on the bridge?

**The target.**

He called me Bucky.

**No, you are the Winter Soldier.**

The exhibit says I am James Buchanan Barnes. Bucky is my nickname.

**Wrong.**

But I'm not- I'm not him. I'm not Bucky.

**Correct.**

I'm not. Wouldn't it have clicked?

**It would.**

Wouldn't something have clicked? I didn't feel anything. I don't feel any different.

**Because you are not different.**

The exhibit also said the man on the bridge was Steve Rogers,

**Yes.**

my best friend.

**No. The target.**

I knew him. I know I knew him.

**You never knew him.**

But I can't remember a damn thing about him. Or me.

**Because there was nothing.**

It's been months since I dragged him out of the Potomac.

**You're a traitor.**

I've been running, hiding. Taking out HYDRA bases.

**Threat.**

What I can do. All I can do. Because I am a weapon.

**Our weapon.**

Somewhere, deep down, I may be James Barnes, but here, now I am the Winter Soldier. Nothing more than a weapon.

**You are the Winter Soldier.**

It’s a cycle. Find a base, collect anything that seems relevant, take down any agents, burn the base.

**Broken.**

Find a base, collect anything that seems relevant, take down any agents, burn the base.

**The Winter Soldier is broken.**

Find, collect, take down, burn. Find collect take down burn. On and on and on.

**He must be fixed.**

I desperately want to be the man I was before.

**Who is he?**

I know Steve would want me to be the man I was before.

**No one.**

But I'm not. I'm not I'm not I'm not.

**Correct.**

The books, the films, the exhibits all say I am James Barnes, but I am not the same James Barnes.

**You are not James Barnes.**

He died when he fell off the train in ’45.

**And the Winter Soldier was born.**

There's some memories that come back. Little ones.

**Lies.**

Partial ones. But never the full thing. And it doesn’t even feel like it happened to me.

**It didn't.**

It’s like I’m watching what happened to someone else. They’re supposed to be my memories, but they’re not.

**They're not.**

I will never be James Buchanan Barnes again.

**You never were.**

Not the same one as Steve Rogers remembers. Not the same one in my flashbacks.

**A figment of your misprogramming.**

Not the one everyone might expect me to be. Someday, I might get most (if not all) of my memories back.

**There are none.**

I might be similar to that James Barnes. I might be able to go back to Steve.

**No.**

Maybe even find a home.

**Not an option.**

But... that won't be any time soon.

**Never.**

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to theactualmishacollins.tumblr.com for betaing!


End file.
